young

this sunday paper told me to relax.

i'm sitting in our sun room with two handsome cats and nothing in my life to care about, except the flies that are just out of reach. they are flying in squares. living anywhere but the present is meaningless to me right now.

while i'm aware that failing ecology would be an obstacle, ignoring school problematic, and dispassionately meeting my responsibilities a pathetic excuse for a lifestyle, i know that now what is best for me is shedding my neuroses for a while and living free.

it seems like emotion only registers in my head. i think i should be jealous, or feel lonely, or like something or someone, but that mental acknowledgment is the extent of it.
last cinco de mayo, i got plastered and ruined a friendship. i think that is a good place in my memory to draw the line where my heart just stopped working.